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Book
of John 19:25
"Now
there stood by the cross of Jesus his mother, and his mother's sister,
Mary the wife of Cleophas, and Mary Magdalene. 26
When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom
he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son! 27
Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour
that disciple took her unto his own home. 28
After this, Jesus knowing that all things were now accomplished, that
the scripture might be fulfilled, saith, I thirst. 29
Now there was set a vessel full of vinegar: and they filled a spunge
with vinegar, and put it upon hyssop, and put it to his mouth. 30
When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, he said, It is finished:
and he bowed his head, and gave up the ghost."
From
the scripture above we can easily understand how important His mother
was to Jesus ... even in the midst of great suffering, He wanted to make
sure His mother was taken care of ... and entrusted her care to the
disciple, whom He loved, John. (For all of you who have read the
"Da Vinci Code" ... note that He made no mention of Mary
Magdalene in these, His last words.) Jesus' concern was based in
large part from living as a Jew and according to Judaism, mothers and
women are given great respect and revered for their role in the culture
and are to be cared for and protected. Which is why Jesus stated
there should be no divorce ... as divorce in that era meant that a woman
would be thrown out of the house with nothing. Judaism, and Jesus
was a Jew, teaches that women must be taken care of and not abandoned.
However,
Paul wrote to his Christian faithful,
"I
allow no woman to teach or to have authority over men" (I Timothy
2:12)? And again, "The women should keep quiet in the
churches" (I Corinthians 14:34)
How different this concept of women is than the respect and reverence
displayed by Jesus. Paul further stated that women must be
subservient to men ... and the late Pope agreed with Paul when he stated
that "women must stay in the marriage even when there is
abuse."
For
centuries this concept created by Paul has influenced our social culture
... and even our laws. And has become the pathology
for many who seek to blame someone outside of themselves for the
conditions in their lives ... and, all too often, psychology has
supported this pathology. So many psychologists and therapists
allow people to point the finger at their mothers for their problems.
And many people blame their mothers for their failed relationships,
shame and guilt. "My mother wouldn't approve" ...
"my mother didn't give me enough support" ... "my mother
treated me so badly I grew up with such a horrible inferiority
complex" ... "nothing I ever did was good enough for my
mother" ... all these have riddled our minds with
"self-pity" and have separated us from a loving understanding
of our mothers and have created within us a "separation" from
the self-worth and value that we have for our self.
As we move into
what the scriptures call the "age of reason" ... we must learn
to break-down our beliefs and concepts that we live by and make our own
choices. It is not necessary for anyone to seek their mother's
approval ... most mothers do not expect that we will live "their
life" ... but live our own. And most mothers, even when we
make bad choices that result in consequences that are not comfortable
for us ... will continue to support us in whatever we do to move through
the situation. Our drama is of our own making ... and often,
people will knowingly do things that they know will create more drama in
their lives ... and that is okay ... as long as we take responsibility
and don't blame mama for our drama.
And
So It Is!
Maximum Love,
Rev.
Hank Bates
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